Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering.

I think at this point there are eight of these films.  That puts this one smack dab in the middle of the series, and right at the beginning of Naomi Watts career.  CLEARLY a high point.  This one is more "Village of the Damned" than really a "Children of the Corn" thing in that regular kids get sick and go homicidal.  The film starts off with a woman's nightmare about a kid going all possessed zombie style and slashing her with one of those scythe thingies.  After the credits, we see an insanely young Naomi Watts driving into town, heading back home to visit her family and help with her crazy mom.  Her name is Grace.


[Farmer Joe takes water out of a well, that appears to have a zombie kid in the bottom.]

Starkwell: The well doesn't look that deep, can't he see that undead blue dude?

[He drinks from his bucket, oh no, it's a bunch of bugs!]

Lovelock: At this point, he's either the victim of some mystical magic, or this is all very Magoovian.

Starkwell: You're not doing the Magoo thing again.

[Zombie kid rises out of the well, kills the farmer, say he's "come for the children".]

Lovelock: Seems like a missed opportunity on the farmer's part to be all "but I'm not a kiddddd…".

Starkwell: Well, I think the zombie kid realizes that.

Lovelock: Unless he's blind.

Starkwell: Don't...

Lovelock: MAGOO-STYLE.


Looks like the zombie preacher kid is about to infect all the kids in town with the evil spirit.  Looks like Grace's sister and brother have a hot ass fever.  Looks like some shit's about to go down.


[It wasn't enough that Preacher Kid killed the farmer, he chopped his head off, impaled him on a cross of some kind, and now sets him on fire.]

Starkwell: He's taking his time with that farmer.

[The kids all FLIP THE FUCK OUT simultaneously, fever, convulsion, and then, they seem to go back to normal... or at least they SEEM normal.]

Lovelock: Well, that wasn't so bad.  Is the movie over yet?


[The kids kill their first victim.]

Starkwell: Did they really have to kill the only black woman in town first?

Lovelock: Kids are racist.

[The Sheriff suspects the husband, IMMEDIATELY and arrests him.]

Lovelock: Racist town I guess.


[Sheriff follows kid into cornfield, dies.]

Lovelock: That's why I never follow weird kids into a cornfield. At night.

Starkwell: Seems like an obvious thing to avoid doing.


Then there's a scary thing that happens and Grace wakes up… it was only a dream.  Then something scary happens.  But then she wakes up… it was another dream.  Within a dream.  Right…  It has now become clear that the kids are being possessed by the evil kids from, what I assume, is the original story / book / movie / thing.


[Crazy twin kids kill doctor.]

Lovelock: I already find twins terrifying enough without them being homicidal possessed demon kids.

Starkwell: Agreed.


The story moves quickly enough, though predictably.


[Girl talking to Grace drops a reference to cinematic classic "The Exorcist".]

Lovelock: Why do movies feel the need to do that?

Starkwell: I never know man.


After the typical "the two random oldest women in town tell the the story of the preacher boy" scene and a few more deaths, we find out that Grace's sister Maragaret is actually her daughter!


[TELEKINESIS! Flying scythe! Into woman's face!]

Lovelock: Preacher boy IS Darth Vader.

Starkwell: I hate you.

Lovelock: Wait so is her brother also her kid?  If not then her crazy mom had a kid at roughly the same time as her.  What the hell.


All the zombie kids gather in a barn and start the ceremony where they intend on transferring Preacher Boy's soul into Margaret's body.  Seems like it worked, since Margaret's body went into a bath of blood and Preacher Kid popped out… so…


[Grace fights Preacher Kid.]

Lovelock: She is totally pulling off that shotgun.

Starkwell: Are you smitten?  You seem pretty smitten.


Eventually she sprays Preacher Kid with mercury laced water and he melts.  The logic as to why that worked was flawed, at best, and the fact that her daughter wakes up after drowning in blood for ten minutes makes even less sense.  Oh well.


Starkwell: See, I'd buy it more if she just magically woke up… but the fact that Naomi Watts did CPR on her and THAT woke her up… seems FUCKING DUMB.


After the movie ended, Lovelock realized that one of the main kids grew up to be on the hit television show "Glee" and was mad at himself for missing potential jokes throughout.


Lovelock: There were probably like seven good moments to whip out a "Don't Stop Believin'" reference.

Starkwell: Missed opportunities.


  1. I remember being terrified of the first as a kid and never assumed for one minute there might be zombies in any of the sequels. I'm also amazed it's not truly terrible. Consider my interest pricked...

    1. It doesn't hurt that you get to look at Naomi Watts.