Oddly enough when I try to find this film online, it says the film is actually called “The Mistresses of Dr. Jekyll” and was released in 1964, as opposed to what Netflix is feeding me, “Dr.Orloff’s Monster” from 1967. What’s even better, is that when I play the film, the title appears in French and coincides with what my INTARWEBS search has given me. Considering some of the titles that they ‘suggest’ for me, I should have known that accuracy was not Netflix’s strong suit. This is an earlier Jess Franco picture, and within a few minutes we can already see that he had a very different style than most, even at this time.
[Old man dies, passes on his research to younger beard man. The research involves reviving dead people with a high frequency sound.]
Starkwell: Holy Hell, do they need to actually play the sound like that.
[A couple of minutes of the sound goes, dead guy rises.]
Lovelock: Never has Franco’s slow pace made my head hurt this much.
Starkwell: In other news, that was one of the worst looking castles that I have ever seen.
Lovelock: It’s only a model.
Starkwell: Dude that was real.
Lovelock: For reals?
The film is full of jagged cuts. Hard to tell if it is a bad print, or how it actually always was. But unfortunately any time the scientist uses the zombie to do his bidding we have to hear the high pitched noise.
[Zombie chokes a stripper after her show.]
Starkwell: Why did they need to choke that stripper?
Lovelock: Did you see her 'show'? Lame.
[We are introduced to a girl named Melissa, Dr. Fisherman’s niece.]
Starkwell: I feel like something is lost in translation, like what they are saying is not what they are actually saying.
Lovelock: Wait, Beardy is Fisherman? So where’s Dr. Orloff? What about Dr. Jekyll?
Starkwell: I don’t know, but I feel like the ‘monster’ is that awful high-pitched noise.
Melissa goes to see her uncle and he acts all “DON’T GO IN TO MY LAB EVER”. Alarm bells are ringing, Melissa. Other than the aunt and uncle fighting and acting weird, not much happens for a while. Then there’s a long dragged out club scene / musical number. Well, actually, every scene is long and dragged out. Oh, and I think he choked the stripper to get a necklace back? I’m not sure.
[Fisherman sends his zombie to choke out the woman from the nightclub he just gave another necklace to, and get back the necklace that he just gave her?]
Starkwell: Ok, so Beardy finds nightclub singers and/or strippers that he likes, gives them necklaces, and then kills them and gets the necklace back?
Lovelock: He probably does sex on them in between those two. I think that’s why he gives her the necklace.
Starkwell: That’s unclear.
Lovelock: Wait, he’s not taking the necklace back? What a waste.
The cops are brought in, and realize that the stripper and singer must have had the same killer, since they had similar amateurishly crafted necklaces. The cops don’t buy the whole “we shot him and it didn’t affect him at all” thing that the club owners are saying happened re: the zombie. We then find out that the zombie is Melissa’s father.
Starkwell: I don’t get why he needs to kill the women… It's not like his wife isn't already onto him...
Lovelock: “Mistresses of Dr. Jekyll”? More like “Dead Ladies of Dr. Fisherman”.
Starkwell: “Dead Ladies of Dr. Fisherman, that’s I’m pretty sure he didn’t even bang”.
Lovelock: “High-Pitched Noise of Professor Fisherman”?
Starkwell: That’s the one.
[High-pitched noise sounds off again for a few minutes.]
Starkwell: I’m fucking done.
Lovelock: He’s not named Orloff or Jekyll, and he has no actual mistresses… Just bitches he gives shit to and then chokes with the help of his zombie and super computer high pitched dog whistle.
[Wait… Dr. Orloff was the old dead guy from the beginning?]
Lovelock: I must have missed that. Wait, did that cop say “robutt”? The ZOMBIE is a RO-BUTT.
Holy shit, boring. It goes on for what feels like forever, after zombie dad gets a few more chokes in and even punches a woman in the face. There’s a scene where zombie dad and Melissa stare at each for like fifteen minutes. She brings him to a hotel and all of the cops shoot the shit out of his head. The end. Or as they say at the end of this film “Fin”. Or as Lovelock says “you know what? Fuck you, movie”. What a mess.